SERENITY
Nov 11, from “Strengthening My Recovery” daily reader
What is this strange entity called serenity? How will we know if we have it? What will it feel like? Will we be different somehow? Is it something to strive for or is it an illusion?
Maybe it’s easier to say what serenity isn’t. It isn’t waking up with the knowledge that this is going to be a bad day. It isn’t focusing on what we don’t have and what others do have. It isn’t looking to others to affirm who we are. It isn’t trying to make people like us by saying yes when we really want to say no.
In ACA, we learn that serenity isn’t an entity; it’s a feeling, an experience. It’s the wisdom to know when we are powerless and to accept that truth without feeling less than. It’s the inner strength that tells us we’re okay regardless of how the world may view us. It’s the ability to forgive others and ourselves for not being perfect or not living up to certain expectations. It’s knowing that our best friend and strongest cheerleader is inside of us.
Serenity is a state of being where we feel accepted for who we are. It is unconditional peace with no strings attached. And yes it does exist, it’s not an illusion. We invite it in.
My experience:
When I look at these words it makes me think about the current leg of my journey. I now question all of my immediate responses as I now understand that the thought processes that I currently have, and working to move away from, are thoughts that allowed me to survive childhood. I no longer want to just survive, I want to live. Just knowing that is serenity. Looking at past relationships and understanding that I looked for a person to make me whole, to sooth me, to bring me joy. I now understand that I am a whole person worthy of being loved for who I am not what I do, that I don’t need anyone to sooth me, handle me, or bring me joy, I want someone to share and appreciate who I really am. This is serenity. To know that I don’t have to control all situations, that I do not have to participate in others choices and I don’t have to involve myself with people that actively try to control and make me feel bad. This is serenity. To know that I am not, nor do I have to appear to be or strive to be, perfect. I can make a mistake and still be a good person. This is serenity. This is the serenity I am learning with the help of ACA. This opportunity exists for all who are reading this. Join me!!