PATIENCE

Nov 2, from “Strengthening My Recovery” daily reader

When we first decided to attend an ACA meeting, we entered these rooms alone, scared, angry, or exhausted. We knew we needed to do something, but we didn’t know what – that’s why we came here. Many of us were looking for ways to change the people in our lives, and we wanted to change them now.

We learned that our family of origin issues and failed relationships didn’t happen overnight. We don’t need to read every self-help book this week or hand the Laundry List to everybody we know. If we really want to trust that the program is going to work for us, we learn to follow in the footsteps of those who came before us – to slow down and “Take It Easy.”

We learn how to take care of ourselves by attending meetings. We pray for the courage to ask someone to be our sponsor or fellow traveler who will help us work the Steps. We stop complicating, analyzing, and debating. We learn to keep the focus on ourselves and “Keep It Simple.”

My experience:

“I can take care of myself,” is what I always told myself.  I never understood that every time I uttered these words, or thought those thoughts an additional weight was being placed on my shoulders.  But this is how I survived childhood, doing it myself.  To say I was angry is putting it mildly, alone and scared, certainly, exhausted, you can’t even imagine.  I was physically and mentally drained.  I could not identify what I wanted in life, what truly made me happy or even be able to pursue the things that would truly make me happy because I felt, like times in the past, that the enjoyment would be fleeting at best.  As I assimilated into the rooms of recovery, I discovered how to slow down and enjoy the moment.  I discovered how to take care of me.  I discovered how to identify that I am important and I deserve enjoyment like anyone else.  Most importantly, I discovered that I have choices.  I no longer have to accept unacceptable behavior from anyone, even those close to me.  I can choose not to be in their presence and/or participate in their unacceptable behavior.  I can choose to be happy and or reach for happiness.  I learned to love me, by simply “Taking it Easy,” and “Keeping it Simple.”