Giving and Receiving
Nov 1, from “Strengthening My Recovery” daily reader
“An endless cycle of giving and receiving is at the very heart of the success and continuation of ACA. Adult children understand each other, because we have experienced similar effects from being raised with similar dysfunction. Being in the company of those who know of our pain brings comfort and reassurance that we are not alone. When we hear others who have done the work and are reaping the benefits of recovery, we are filled with hope for our own future. As we work the Steps and see progress in ourselves, we willingly reach out to others in need. By honestly and openly sharing our experience, we help them open up to the possibility of their own growth. We see that our pain is subsiding little by little, and we are finding a new happiness in the way others have. By giving of ourselves to fellow adult children, we are filled with gratitude for a new way of life, and share willingly to encourage others on their journey.”
My experience:
When I first walked into the room of my very first ACA meeting, I had no idea what to expect. No one understood what I was feeling, hell I didn’t know what I felt or needed in my life. I knew it felt like I was always giving. But then I walked into the room and I realized that there were others in this world that had similar feelings. I knew this because they shared their experiences. I had never seen nor heard anything like this. It made me cry. Not only did I cry because of what folks shared, I cried because I had no idea this resource existed. I cried because I wondered, “why someone hadn’t told be about this before?” I cried because I was no longer alone. I cried because finally I could believe that maybe this will help. People openly discussed their behaviors that are looked upon negatively in society, behaviors that most people participate in, on some level, which they are deeply ashamed. But the shame is so deep they either never discuss it, or only discuss it with a select few, and even then it is likely to be a discussion that only scratches the surface. It is rarely a conversation that discusses deep feelings and thoughts. But now I could let everything out, unburden myself, and ask for help. Help to admit my guilt and shame. Help to separate myself from unwanted behaviors. Help understanding why I do the things I do. Help recovering from childhood survival. I am now able to share my deepest thoughts and know I will not be judged or shamed. I know that the people in the room only want the best for me and are willing to listen and completely understand what I struggle with. I also share to help the person in the room that needs to hear what I have to say. On any particular night there is someone, not just a person new to the room, who needs to hear what I have to say. Join me, recover with me, I promise things will never be the same.
I will never be the same
It never dawned on me when I walked into the room
The same for which I was, was destined for doom
As I walked into the space with my heart heavy sighing
I saw people cheerful and laughing and I saw some that were crying
This spot I entered was a wonder to me
Some place that I never thought I would be
But how could this exist without me ever knowing
A place that could truly help, my mind was blown
Smiles were freely given and even many a hug
Honestly, I was put aback, and my shoulders did shrug
Love from the entrance was given to me
But belief I deserved, dogged and eluded thee
They said that they would love and accept no matter what
They just wanted my acceptance as they already accepted me such
This initiated tears like I have never before
But like I would have in the past, I did not run for the door
I stayed to hear what more they had to say
And then like they asked, I came back another day
The folks in this room have seen me weep more than any other
These people now, I consider sisters and brothers
So, back and back continue I came
I realize now that I will never be the same