WALKING WOUNDED
Oct 2, from “Strengthening My Recovery” daily reader
“Adult children have been described as the ‘walking wounded,’ strutting about in a state of emotional and spiritual bankruptcy while claiming to be ‘fine.’” BRB p. 71
“We carried around deep wounds from childhood. When we were asked how we were, we said “fine” because we felt they wouldn’t really want to know. But our actions and attitude spoke our truth.
None of us would be in ACA if life had not been difficult for us. We didn’t learn good coping skills when we were kids because our role models either masked their pain with something, often alcohol or drugs, or they took their anger out on the most defenseless people in their midst: us.
We learn in recovery that we have the ability to change our attitudes and our lives. We don’t need to carry our wounds with us forever. We can consciously change our attitudes, and thus change not only ourselves but our part in the interactions we have with others. If we hang onto past hurts as if they are badges of courage, we rob ourselves of the promise of today.
We now choose to use the tools of ACA that will take us from the depths of our victim role into the warm sun. We shed our victim clothing for a new spring wardrobe.
On this day I will work my program as if my life depends on it, because it does.”
My experience:
I have been so accustomed to say I was “fine” I didn’t even realize that I wasn’t. The wounds have been deep. I now recognize them and am attempting to close them. I recently wrote a letter to my mother for all the wounds she is responsible for. Funny thing is, my father was the alcoholic. He, being my qualifier, got me on the road to recovery. What I have discovered is that she is at least equally responsible for the wounds, and sometimes I suspect even more so. I am tackling those wounds one-by-one and feeling the pain and attempting to understand. Since the behavior is still going on, it is hard to forgive, but I can attempt to better understand so that I can release myself from these past hurts and heal. As I travel this road to recovery, I am peeling an onion, so to speak. As I uncover, one layer of hurt, another is right around the corner. But peel I must in order to get to the core and bask in the relief of healing. Even though I continue to uncover pain, the relief I get from healing the current hurt is life altering. I am able to be in the moment and enjoy life. I am able to take advantage of opportunities that arise and live a much fuller life. I am no longer afraid of what is around the corner, I invite the next hurt so that I can experience even deeper healing. I implore you to join me on this journey.
Blog: www.bkcoates.com
Instagram: bkcoates
Facebook: A Childhood Recovered
Twitter: @cornbread182