Tradition Three
March 30, from “Strengthening My Recovery” daily reader
“Adult children who are codependents, addicts, debtors, overeaters, sexually compulsive, alcoholics, and gamblers are members if they have a desire to recover from the effects of a dysfunctional family. We cannot turn away anyone seeking help from the isolation and madness of the effects of a dysfunctional upbringing.” BRB p. 505
“The all-or-nothing thinking that most ACAs have before recovery would have us draw bold lines about who is a bona fide ACA member or not. Time has shown us that the people coming to a meeting are the only ones who can say they are members, and once having claimed a seat, and with rare exception, no one can force them to give it up.
Our fellowship welcomes anyone from a dysfunctional home, whether alcohol was present or not. Adults brought up in foster homes usually lived in dysfunctional situations and can also find a safe place with us to share the effects of their childhood experiences.
There are some occasions when a member creates such fear that the group’s conscience has to step in to set up appropriate boundaries. Fortunately, these instances are extremely rare. The scarier idea is that an adult child may be turned away from our door, usually by well-meaning ACAs who unknowingly let their own biases get in the way. Just because someone doesn’t talk, or they yell, curse, pout, or cry does not disqualify them from membership.
On this day, unless someone is creating a hazard to others or to the meeting property, I will do what I can to ensure that all members are free to express their experiences as best they can.”
My Experience:
I spent the first few months doing nothing but listening and weeping. I remember talking to someone who had been around for a while and saying how my story isn’t as horrific as some of the stories I hear in these rooms. He told me, my story is my story and it is just as significant as anyone else’s story in the room. It affected me the same as those other stories you heard and it is just as important for you to feel safe to share your story. Soon after that I was able to share parts of my story and what an eye opener it was as I could tell folks in the room were truly listening to what I had to say and relating in some way to my story. I now knew without a doubt, that my claim to a seat in the room was legitimate.
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