THE PROBLEM

Dec 24, from “Strengthening My Recovery” daily reader

“This is a description, not an indictment.”  BRB p. 589

Even though it says in The Problem that it’s not an indictment, it may still feel that way at first.   Many of us felt locked forever in continually repeated patterns of family dysfunction. But in spite of that, we see the wisdom of what’s written down. We come to realize that this description, based on The Laundry List, can actually feel comforting. We’re no longer alone when we enter an ACA meeting and find we can share these Traits openly without criticism, because others have the same habits.”

We cannot change where we came from or what happened to us, but we can choose to work the ACA program of recovery and find a way out. Each day, we can use any of the tools of the program, such as the Steps, the phone, the meetings, a sponsor, and so much more.

We are no longer trapped in a horrible past. We may sometimes feel bad, but we are not bad in our inner core. Whatever traits or shortcomings we have, we look around us and see that we are not alone. We now have the support of others in the program and our Higher Power.

On this day I rededicate myself to living this new life. I will pick up the phone, go to a meeting or spend time reading the Big Red Book to nourish myself.”

My experience:

The first time I stepped into a meeting I heard the group reading different passages.  One of those was “The Problem” statement.  I tried to keep cool, because I just knew they were talking about all my issues that I had painstakingly hidden for a lifetime.  But how could they possibly know?  I looked around and I thought I felt all the eyes in the room staring right at me because I had all these “problems.”  But then I realized, they are talking about all the people in this room.  I started to weep as I realized I was no longer alone.  These people know because they are like me.  All these folks can identify with all or at least some of those things that are being read as part of “The Problem” statement.  They came to isolate themselves, they lost themselves, they took any personal criticism as a threat, they developed a habit of choosing partners with addictive behaviors and probably developed some addictive behaviors of their own, they had an overdeveloped sense of responsibility trying to tackle’s everyone’s problems, they were so terrified of abandonment that they stayed in emotionally and maybe physically abusive relationships, they learned to keep their feelings at bay and walked around in a numbed state living less than a full life, just like me.  I felt the weight of the world lift from my shoulders that day.  Interestingly, I had been so used to this weight, that I didn’t even know it was there until it was lifted.  Join me and let us help you take the weight of the world off your shoulders too.