STEP SIX
June 3, from “Strengthening My Recovery” daily reader
“Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.” BRB p.207
“We may have balked at the words “character defects.” Wouldn’t a more appropriate term be “character defenses?” Didn’t they get us through an unlivable situation? Wasn’t the destruction we experienced part and parcel of surviving a hostile environment?
But whether we call them defects or defenses, when we get to ACA we finally realize they don’t work in our lives anymore, that we are ready to put them down. We begin to ask our Higher Power to remove these things as we are ready to give them up. The process becomes intuitive as we continue to work the Steps, become sponsors, and see the positive effects the program has on ourselves and others.
We shed our coping mechanisms as we see them for what they really are. We can’t believe we haven’t seen them before, but now we know and won’t go back. This new way of life is based on accountability. We cultivate our inner loving parent and show our Inner Child we can be trusted. Just as a healthy parent sets safe boundaries for a child, we set boundaries for ourselves. Our hurt parts no longer run the show. Our Inner Child walks into the love and flourishes.
On this day I become willing to examine and remove the next defect that I’m tired of carrying around.”
My Experience:
What a great way to put it, “Our hurt parts run the show.” I can definitely tell you that for a lifetime, my hurt parts were running the show. But no more! It is scary to admit to yourself and others that you have/had defects of character. What I used to think was, “this is just who I am.” But that is not true. Once recognized you can change these character defects. Some of mine were scorekeeping, mistrust, vengeance, unforgiving, suppression of emotions, etc. I grew to think that these were just things that protected me. And as I struggled to survive childhood, it was true, they protected me. However as I grew older these characteristics caused more harm to me and others than good. Most of all these defects of character kept me disconnected from people and thus the inability to completely enjoy all that life has to offer. This step, along with step seven, is one of my favorites and thus far one of the most emotional and transformative. I can only hope that you too experience the transformation that I did during this step!!
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