STEP ONE
Jan 3, from “Strengthening My Recovery” daily reader
“We admitted we were powerless over the effects of alcoholism or other family dysfunction, that our lives had become unmanageable.” BRB p.118
In ACA we learn to think of this word in a new light. When we hang around meetings long enough to listen, we find that our very power comes from surrender. The First Step tells us that we had actually been giving away our power at the exact time we sought to keep it. As we learn to healthfully surrender by walking away and letting go, we begin experiencing a new freedom.
We stop trying to fix others so that we can feel more comfortable, and in the process teach them how to take care of us. We take care of ourselves and allow others to fall down and not get up if that is what they must do. We walk away from the emotional car crashes that have caused us to feel like victims most of our lives. We realize we never really had the power to change anyone, especially those we grew up with.
As we make healthier choices, we start to see results in our lives. It is no longer the right thing to complain when we can just simply step away from the dialog. Because we now value our serenity, we release the idea that it is our job to change the world around us.
On this day I see wonderful things happening in my life as I loosen my grip…and let go.
My Experience:
What I learned in step one is that there are several issues that I felt like I had power over, that I was responsible for and had to control. I realized that I cannot control how someone will respond to me, I cannot control that someone will apologize to me, I cannot control someone else’s feelings when I ask for what I want/need, I cannot control the path that someone chooses to take. Trying to control the uncontrollable, makes your life unmanageable. I can control thinking about my needs, wants and desires and communicating them, I can control how to not react negatively to the way someone is acting, I can control if I choose to walk a different path than someone else, I can control taking the time I need to decide how I will deal with certain information, I can control choosing to detach from someone in my life. You see this step is about changing the focus from outside to inside and realizing that is all you can control. So take a look at those people around you, realize you cannot control them, and recite the phrase, “not my monkey, not my circus,” because it is not. What a relief this was for me! Perhaps it will be for you too!