SPONSORSHIP

Jan 26, from “Strengthening My Recovery” daily reader

“Sponsorship is the vehicle by which we take the road less traveled to a true connection with others and a God of our understanding.” BRB p. 368

Coming from a family of dysfunction, we developed a fear of authority.  We learned early that our opinions, feelings, and attitudes were insignificant. The power belonged to the raging alcoholic, the enabling spouse, and any older children in the family who were given authority over us because they had been put in charge of most of our care. In alcoholic homes, the parents were too involved in fighting or manipulating each other over alcoholic rages and abusive behavior to care for us.

When we escaped, we vowed never to let another person control us; yet, we found ourselves either being the abuser or the dependent one in most relationships we developed, including working relationships, religious relationships, and friendships.

When we finally found ACA, for some of us, choosing a sponsor to help us work the Steps often lead to the same type of relationship we were familiar with. Then we discovered the “fellow traveler” model of sponsorship. We found this peer-to-peer concept helped keep us out of our people-pleasing or running-someone-else’s-life behaviors. It put us on equal footing and allowed us to travel the road to recovery together.

On this day I will walk hand-in-hand with my fellow traveler so we can help each other recover on the less-traveled road.

 My Experience:

How amazing this is.  A fellow traveler is just that, someone walking with you.  No one telling you what to do and you not feeling like someone is telling you what to do.  You have someone that oftentimes will have more experience than you, that typically has displayed the type of recovery you might want, as seen in their participation in meetings, and is working an active program.  When you get together, you both share your experience and both of you are walking the steps.  More so for you, but your sponsor/fellow traveler is learning again too.  As you work the steps, you both agree when it is time for you to move on to the next step and not your sponsor that tells you when to move on.  You put in the work, you both share your experience and get to decide when you have gotten the lessen in the step and are ready to move on.  This sponsor/fellow traveler model works very well for me.  It could work for you as well.  Try it and see!