SPIRITUAL EXPERIENCE
Sept 11, from “Strengthening My Recovery” daily reader
“Who would have thought that talking, trusting, and feeling would equal a spiritual experience, but it does for adult children. We felt this new spirituality in our breathing and in the sense that we could face life on life’s terms.” BRB p. 285
“It seems rather simple: show up at a meeting, listen, share and go home. These basic acts of self-care bring significant changes to our lives. When we make time in our day to attend a meeting, we practice self-love. When we give each other attention, we show each other that we care. When we listen quietly, attentively and respectfully, we become witnesses of another person’s growth and our own. When we feel comfortable enough to share our recovery story, we demonstrate trust in the group. When we make an effort to accept the space we are in, we display our own vulnerability and move forward.
These simple acts of self-care yield a spiritual experience that far outweighs our efforts. Our fellow ACA’s listen with empathy without interrupting our process, and they witness our spiritual experience, too.
As we learn to trust and surrender to the process, memories or feelings surface from beneath the weight of the now crumbling false self. We become free to breathe, to take positive, simple steps as we heal and truly live our lives.
On this day I take simple steps to practice self-care so that I may experience the spiritual nature of my recovery.”
My experience:
Yes it is that simple. For two months in the program, I just showed up and felt myself getting better and better in small steps, but better and better. Then one day Candy showed up at the meeting. In the two months I had been attending, she was not there, or at least she hadn’t shared before. But this fateful night she showed up. And what she shared, what I listened too, what I heard, what I learned as I gave all my attention, shook me to my core. She shared, that even after being in this program for over 2 decades, she “lives a life beyond her wildest dreams.” In that moment, I turned to look who said that and in my mind I said, “That is what I want.” I wasn’t sure if I could ever attain living a life beyond my wildest dream, but I set out to get better and better in this program. A funny thing happened, one day I looked up and I had written and published a book, I started a blog, I was regularly setting and keeping boundaries, I was feeling my feelings, I was better everyday. All of a sudden it hit me, I too am now “living a life beyond my wildest dreams.” How did this happen? How is it that I could go from being a person that kept his feelings close to the vest, almost never sharing anything about myself and if I did there was a lot of fear which I now know was displayed as anger to now sharing my deepest, darkest feelings/secrets, in poetic text no less. How did I then go on to continue to share my feelings, on a daily basis, in the form of a blog. I do all this with hope in my heart that these things can bring to others what has been brought to me (see service in the BRB). It adds a level of excitement and joy to my life that had never been there before. Although I do get triggered and slide into the abyss at times, it is not nearly how it has been in my life. The best thing is I can now recognize it, name it and do things to move out of it. My boundaries are solid, for the most part, and I no longer accept unacceptable behavior from people. If you work this program miracles will happen for you. I wish for all to, “live a life beyond your wildest dreams” as well!!!
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