SERENITY

Dec 25, from “Strengthening My Recovery” daily reader

We can find serenity in ACA BRB p. 442

We may not have experienced what we think of as serenity – we see it as something other people have, not us. We may not even know what serenity is, let alone where to look for it. What does it feel like?

It may be best to start by examining what we think serenity might be.  Maybe it’s a magical, peaceful feeling that totally engulfs someone 24 hours a day, seven days a week.  With this feeling, people never feel stress, fear or anxiety.  Well, that’s a nice idea to contemplate, but we know in our heart of hearts it’s not reality.

A more realistic view of serenity is to think of it as a core of acceptance that already resides deep inside us; something that we haven’t yet tapped into or perhaps acknowledged. It may be small, even tiny now.  But it will grow.  We learn to recognize and feel little moments of it in our lives.

With the help of our ACA group, we find serenity when we accept our life – past and present, and learn to trust the future. As part of this shift in our mindset, we learn that serenity is achievable. We understand that we won’t feel it 24/7 but it will be present enough to change our lives.

On this day I will remind myself that I already have serenity inside me.  It is up to me to help it grow by building acceptance and trust through the ACA program. 

My experience:

In this poem below I detail how I accept myself by surrendering to a Higher Power that will help me heal those struggles from the past and no longer bring them with me into the future.  I am trusting this Higher Power to guide me to a better place.

RAISING THE WHITE FLAG

In my innocence, all alone I came to believe

No persistent and consistent guidance was provided to me

My vision of the world I could only rely

How that kept my world small and my dreams close by

Hurling aimlessly through existence because I had no rudder

Only dreaming small dreams because there were no other

My way was the only way to produce the desired outcome

Oh how so damaging did this behavior become

I have come to see that you have reached out before

But my education failed me to grasp and explore

I could not recognize that you were trying to assist

All I could see was the adversities destroying the bliss

The ism’s of the span that I have had to endure

Molded me into this thing that I absolutely abhor

To now know there is a higher power that carries me across the sand

Gives me comfort and belief that goes way beyond this land

With this teaching how could I now surrender to thee

When it has been a lifetime of trusting only in me

But capitulate I will, on bended knee

I am depending on you that you will care of me

You will nurture the innocent child that is still inside

Support me to grow into the man that I often hide

My yielding will be complete once I relinquish control

Allowing loving out loud, dreaming big dreams and passion to hold

I will love like I have never been hurt before

My smile will be as bold and bright as Sharper’s of yore

My heart will openly cry for those in despair

And I will never again utter the words, “I don’t care”

My nature will be something no one will even remember

Today I start the metamorphosis of my unconditional surrender