SELF-LOVE
Oct 16, from “Strengthening My Recovery” daily reader
“I lived my life in an endless cycle of harmful relationships, lost jobs, and lost friends. I could never be a friend, actually. I stopped getting into relationships to stop the pain. I had no choice. I was compulsive and getting more out of control with each passing year.” BRB p. 141
“It’s amazing how we can be unaware that we’re harming ourselves. We choose the wrong people, places and things to make us happy for the wrong reasons. Sometimes we know we’re allowing people to use us so we can use them. We use people as Band-Aids to cover our unhealed wounds until we notice we still hurt and the Band-Aids can’t help us. Our sponsors suggest that we work on loving ourselves. But how?
We read ACA literature, give ourselves affirmations and journal. We look at our past, deal with our hurts, forgive ourselves and others. We do the work. And one day we notice that it’s happening. We’ve started to love ourselves and even like ourselves. We stop using Band-Aids and now have authentic friends who love us as we are, while we continue the journey of recovery. The greatest gift is that we learn to be a friend to ourselves.
On this day I will do the work. The journey to self-love is not an easy one, but the payoff is priceless.”
My experience:
Band-Aid is a good word. I used to seek those things that I thought made me happy, because everything and everyone told me they should. But I now understand what makes me happy’ tenderness, kindness and trust. In a nutshell I would seek out the chaos, because I was chaotic. Now that I have moved away from the chaos, I no longer get the rush from seeking out the chaos in those people or situations that I choose to have around me. Notice I used the word, choose. I understand now that I have choices of whom and what situations are around me, and others do not get to choose for me. That was part of my chaos; I took on everything and everybody. I no longer feel that need and it has brought much serenity into my life. I now love myself enough to put me first in a healthy way. Join me!
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