SELF-FORGIVENESS
Dec 26, from “Strengthening My Recovery” daily reader
“We realize that we are practicing the concept of self-forgiveness when we hear ourselves talking about being gentle with ourselves.” BRB p. 113
“Being gentle with ourselves is not second nature to us. Few of us had good role models in that respect. As a result, we learned to lock our thoughts inside our heads where we often fell prey to negative messages.
As we learn to care for the needs of our Inner Child, we begin to release the harsh self-criticism we honed through the years. We allow ourselves to be human, and we acknowledge that to be human is to make mistakes.
We may find ourselves incessantly reliving our actions because we think we made a mistake. ACA offers us many new resources that can help quell our critical inner voice. We can call a fellow traveler, read from the Red Text, attend an in-person or phone meeting, pray, meditate, or practice any number of new behaviors. The list is long and purposeful.
We learn to take an inventory of our actions when we think we’ve done something wrong, and acknowledge our feelings. Maybe we made a mistake; maybe we took a small misstep. Maybe we are hearing false messages from childhood. By being open to a daily review, we can turn things around and practice healthy behavior. We can affirm our humanness and our desire to grow.
On this day I show my Inner Child love and acceptance by practicing gentleness and self-forgiveness.”
My experience:
The act of writing this to you now is my way of self-forgiveness. For years I have had thoughts in my head and am now able to get them out and deal with them with kindness and gentleness. Most of the thoughts were negative in that I would go over and over why this happened and what I should have done. Many thoughts of how I could control an upcoming situation to show myself and everyone around me that I was perfect. I can now acknowledge that I am not, nor never have been, perfect. I make mistakes, both small and egregious. In the past, I would beat myself up incessantly for those mistakes. Consequently, in order to attempt to soothe this self-beating, I practiced self–destructing and self-fulfilling prophecy type traits that brought me further into the muck of disparity. With the help of the ACA meetings, fellow traveler, sponsor, readings I am learning everyday how to better forgive myself and am working on moving away from the self-destructing traits I developed over the years. I am so happy to be where I am today. Won’t you join me!!