PROMISE THREE
March 15, from “Strengthening My Recovery” daily reader
“Fear of authority figures and the need to ‘people-please’ will leave us.” BRB p. 591
“As children, from infancy through our teen years, we were surrounded by authority figures. This included our family, babysitters and teachers – those who traditionally deserved respect. But many of these people took advantage of our respect for authority by intimidating us into a submissive role. Our natural tendency to please was exploited by the unreasonable demands placed on us. As adults, our need to people-please took a darker turn and robbed us of our ability to enjoy life. Always seeking to please others, we were left waiting for our turn at getting our needs met.
In ACA, the edges of the puzzle of how we became people-pleasers slowly start to become clear. We begin to free the roots of our people-pleasing habit from the soil of our childhoods. In its place we plant brand new seeds of hope.
Consistent work in our program allows our insight, clarity, and freedom to flourish. No longer fearful of authority and under the compulsion to please, we are emancipated to decide for ourselves whom we need to fear and whom we choose to please.
On this day I will continue working the ACA program to further unearth the deep roots of my fear of authority and people-pleasing. I choose to be free of any hold they still have over me.”
My Experience:
When you become an authoritarian it is hard to understand that you are afraid of authority. But as I peel the onion, that is exactly how I was raised, to fear those “in-charge.” I no longer have to fear being imperfect because I now recognize that I am, I no longer have to take on the weight of the world because I can only take on my stuff, thus I no longer have to fear those that want to continue a relationship that they feel they have authority over me and that their abusive views and actions are ok. I reject you and your views and what a relief that is.
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