OTHER LAUNDRY LIST
Jan 31, from “Strengthening My Recovery” daily reader
“Before we write in greater detail about the original Laundry List, we must note that most of the 14 Traits have an opposite. Our experience shows that the opposites are just as damaging as the counterpart.”BRBp.8
Overcoming our denial of family dysfunction was easier when we took an honest and balanced view of our life experiences. The Laundry List provided clues about some of the effects, but the compulsions and the addictiveness could not be accepted as normal. Somewhere, deep inside, we knew there was more to the issues we faced than we were currently in touch with.
The Opposites Laundry List gave some of us the rest of the puzzle. Here was a description of how we might have acted out the Traits. We could see how we set up an endless roller coaster ride between the effects of our childhood and how it affected ourselves and others today. The Solution for both lists is the same: The Steps and reparenting. Admitting powerlessness, coming to believe, and turning our will and our lives over to the care of a Higher Power all start us on the road to our spiritual awakening. Acknowledging our critical inner parent and creating space for our inner loving parent to guide our Inner Child releases us from our affects and gives us power to achieve integration and wholeness.
On this day I will look to both the Laundry List and the Opposite Laundry List to get a sense of the effects and my affects. I will be mindful of the Solution, using the Steps and reparenting myself in order to create integrity and wholeness”
My Experience:
How true this is. When I originally looked at the Laundry list, I had some difficulty seeing some of the traits pertaining to me. However, when I looked at the Other Laundry List, it was quite clear. The Other Laundry List showed me how I was acting and what that may look like to other people around. This realization was very humbling. I knew that I had some traits that were not the best but could not fully appreciate them until I saw this list. The Laundry list says we feared authority figures. The Other Laundry List says that we became those authority figures and people feared us. Smack dab in the face it told me what an asshole I had been for a lifetime. This makes me so sad and so sorry. Very sorry to those that put up with me during these times. Sorry to me for damaging relationships thus not being able to fully enjoy them. But I have the program now to help me see the error in my ways. I am recovering and getting healthier every day. I no longer want to have these negative traits and actively work to separate myself from them. I hope everyone I have known, that I displayed any of these traits to, can forgive me, but right now I am working on forgiving myself and living the best life I can. You can too!!