LETTING GO
Feb 7 from “Strengthening My Recovery” daily reader
“In ACA, we learn to let go of control in stages. Our parachute is the Twelve Steps and a Higher Power of our understanding.” BRB p. 40
While growing up, we may have felt controlled by our parents and the palpable dysfunction that surrounded us. As a result, in adulthood we found ways to take control, whether we did it directly or passively through covert manipulation. Being in control made us think we could determine our own destinies.
But trying to control people and situations is exhausting work. If we are truly honest with ourselves, we realize that the control we think we have is an illusion. Many of us learned this the hard way, as things began falling apart around us.
By working the Twelve Steps with the help of a Higher Power and our fellow travelers, we come to believe that our focus on gaining and maintaining control leaves little room for the healthy things in our lives, like positive self-esteem, balanced relationships, spontaneity, and a world full of possibilities.
We also learn that letting go of control happens in stages. After all, we are trying to change an ingrained behavior that took a long time to ‘perfect’. The key is to be gentle with ourselves.
On this day I will practice letting go of the control I have worked so hard to have over the people and events in my life. I will forgive myself if I slip.
My experience:
While working the steps I have taken to meditation. One of the affirmations I say to myself every morning as I meditate is, “I am willing to consider releasing some control in my life.” I am not telling myself all, I am telling myself some. So during my day I now look at situations and think, am I trying to control this situation? Sometimes I ask myself, are the words I am using from my childhood words that are trying to control another person. When I reflect and ask myself these questions I am better able to let go of situations that I would usually try to control. Am I perfect, of course not, this program is about progress not perfection. I bask in the joy of no longer having to be perfect. The knowledge allows me to reflect and change when I can. Just thinking about this slight change, the addition of meditation, reveals the new found happiness I have recently come across. Thank you ACA.