INNER CHILD/TRUE SELF

May 8, from “Strengthening My Recovery” daily reader

“During these years of family dysfunction, our Inner Child or True Self went into hiding and remained heavily fortified under addictions or dependent behavior.” BRB p. 106

“Before ACA, we might have heard about and even had glimpses of our Inner Child, or True Self – the part of us that hungers for the unconditional love and support we didn’t receive in our families. This is the part of us that is most often buried pretty deep behind defense mechanisms and addictive behaviors that we thought were somehow protecting us from further harm.

But in recovery we learn the reasons why our True Self went into hiding. It finally starts to makes sense why that part of us can be elusive and hard to access on a regular basis.

As we identify and release our childhood trauma, we come out from behind our addictions and self-destructive behaviors to make it safe for our Inner Child.  We reparent ourselves and give ourselves what we didn’t receive. We begin to blossom inside and make ourselves whole with the help of our Higher Power, our fellow travelers and the tools of ACA.

On this day I will welcome and nurture my True Self with the support of my Higher Power and ACA, I am able to provide for myself the unconditional love I’ve always deserved.”

My Experience:

I would hide behind my shield of anger; going into gladiator mode I would call it.  What a blessing that I can now put down this shield and experience the pain, work through it and move forward.  Processing the pain in this way allows me to learn a lesson and move on instead of continually thinking about the pain and allowing it to impact me further.

Anger was my shield

Seething, slow burn, fuming are all different names

They all resemble anger as it burst into flames

Batman had the bat mobile and his armor to adorn

Superman had a cape that shielded his form

My protection was called anger and it never failed me

Like the legendary Leonidas and his 300 mighty

Battle ready was I always to get down in the mix

Unequipped you come you better rethink this

Because if you dared to confront me ready you think

I would make an example of you quick as a blink

I couldn’t understand the viciousness of the attack

I would see red until you reeled all the way back

Then I would satisfy in the carnage presented before me

Didn’t matter who it was that lay beneath thee

But the ground that I stood on I would never yield

Because I always knew that anger was my shield

Blog:  www.bkcoates.com

Instagram:  bkcoates

Facebook: brian coates

Twitter: @cornbread182