HUMILITY

Sept 26, from “Strengthening My Recovery” daily reader

“With humility, we become more thoughtful in our decisions, and we are slower to anger. We begin to become actors rather reactors to life’s situations.” BRB p.224

“As children, we may have been humiliated and told we didn’t measure up. As we grew, we decided we needed to prove our worth. When we accomplished things, we expected validation. Most decisions we made were geared to gaining this outward affirmation. If anyone disagreed with us, it felt like an attack. We lashed out and tried to punish them. We may have even further reacted by increasing our efforts to prove our worth.

In ACA, we learn about humility, and that it has nothing to do with humiliation, a core wound. ACA teaches us that humility is the way to inner peace and finding our True Self.  If we do something for others, the world doesn’t have to know. We don’t need accolades. And where it was second nature for us to react first and lash out, we now take a step back and examine reality.

This change is not easy. Our insecurities and triggers are often just below the surface, and we can fall into old patterns. But when we use our new tools, we have more If-awareness.  We learn to look in the mirror and feel at ease with what we see.

On this day I will remember that humility keeps me grounded and on equal footing with those around me. I don’t have to be greater than’ to have value.”

My Experience:

I would have loved to just be recognized, let alone validated for my accomplishments.  It is true that I tried harder and harder because maybe this time someone would notice and offer some sort of validation.  It never came from those that I wanted it to, but interestingly enough it came and continues to come from people that I would have least expected it.  However, because I was so blinded by my need to be validated by certain people, I was not in a position to recognize and/or fully appreciate the validation coming from other folks.  I have now stopped doing things to be validated by others, but rather do things that feel good for me.  I don’t have to announce to the world how great I am, I am great for just being me.  I no longer have to be better than the next person, I just need to do good at what I want to accomplish and I get to appreciate the accomplishment, the deed, the effort, the sacrifice, etc.  I can do that now because I have a Higher Power that directs me and has helped me to love and appreciate me.

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