HONESTY
August 26, from “Strengthening My Recovery” daily reader
“With the help of ACA, we are offering our parents fairness as we look at the family system with rigorous honesty. We are looking for the truth so that we can live our own lives with choice and self-confidence. We want to break the cycle of family dysfunction.” BRB p. 27
“’What is honesty?’ asked the old man.
‘Telling the truth,’ I said.
He raised his eyebrows and replied, ‘That’s only half of the answer. The other part is consistency, which means telling the truth all the time.’
How many times do we tell half-truths? “Yes, I’d be glad to do that, “we say, but deep inside we’re already shaming ourselves for giving in. “So, what’s wrong?” someone asks. We answer, ‘Nothing,’ when our hearts are so broken we’d like to end it all. Or the phone rings in the middle of a fight, and we cheerfully answer like all is right with the world.
When working the steps in ACA, we have the privilege of practicing rigorous honesty with a fellow traveler. We want to break the chains that hold us in bondage – to stop repeating the same ineffective behavior. We’re tired of failed relationships, verbal abuse, and isolation. If we truly want to find peace and serenity, we courageously walk through the swamps, hand in hand with our fellow traveler, armed with honesty, to face the truth. We want a better life. We make room for the good stuff that we deserve.
On this day I will be mindful in the present moment and be honest. I will make healthy choices and thank my Higher Power for the encouragement that got me here.”
My Experience:
My half-truths were somewhat non-choices. I didn’t feel like I had the option/choice of telling the complete truth. Someone either did not want to hear it or were otherwise disinterested. I now realize I have choices and telling the full story (the truth) is a choice I now have. I understand that I don’t have to intentionally hurt anyone and I attempt to choose the kindest words that I can, but in the end I get to choose the truth as an option in all given situations. When I protect my choice of vigorous honesty, I get the satisfaction of someone loving me and wanting to be around me for me, not for the false person I have shown for a lifetime. It feels so much better to give people the opportunity to love me, or not, for who I am. That way I don’t feel like I am always waiting for the shoe to drop when I am “found out.” Thank you ACA!
Blog: www.bkcoates.com
Instagram: bkcoates
Facebook: a childhood recovered
Twitter: @cornbread182