HEALING
Sept 18, from “Strengthening My Recovery” daily reader
“Being in an ACA Twelve Step meeting was being in a place where without speaking I sat with others who genuinely knew me.” BRB p. xviii
“All we knew was that our lives weren’t working. In the midst of the dysfunction we found the strength to reach out for help. It was suggested that our childhoods were still affecting us and that ACA might be a good idea. So we took a leap of faith and attended our first ACA meeting.
Almost immediately we felt a sense of comfort without really knowing what this group was all about. We began to hear what others were saying; it was as if they knew us without actually knowing us. We came to realize that we all had similar characteristics as a result of being brought up in dysfunctional madness. We knew we had arrived at a potential solution for so often feeling alone and different.
We found that this process of healing showed us how to grow from the inside out, and we knew we were on the right path. We found great comfort in the knowledge that the 12 Steps were leading us to spiritual recovery and growth. ACA was helping us find a way out of isolation, fear, and terminal uniqueness.
On this day I will remember the feeling of safety I find in my meetings. I know that I am not longer alone.”
My experience:
One night I was watching television and something was said on some show that I do not remember. What I do remember is me saying to myself, “that sounds like me.” So I immediately got on the internet and purchased several books on the subject of recovery and Adult Children of Alcoholics. I devoured this information over the next several weeks. The one theme that the books kept circling back to was, to attend a meeting. I could read the books, I could look at podcasts, but I was a person that was not going to go to a meeting. I was too, cool, upstanding, important, respected (insert any additional excuse you would like here). But one day, I gave in. I looked for the meeting, but since I could not easily find it, I gave up. It would take me several weeks more to attempt to find another meeting. I am not sure what I think I was going to find, but when I walked into the room, I saw “normal” people. Some that clearly had just as much if not more status, some upstanding retired folks, some people still trying to make it, and some, like me, newcomers. Once the reading and sharing came, I started to cry, no, weep! I could not help myself. And the on-lookers knew, aahh, he is in the right place, I am sure they thought. They smiled and provided a space of safety and comfortability that I had never experienced before. Once the meeting was over, the most amazing thing happened, I was hugged!! I mean really hugged. Not this off to the side thing that people call a hug. Not this body pushed back, arms wrapped around and patted on the back. I mean a full body, bring it in and let me wrap my arms around you for however long you need, hug. And get this, not from just one person, not from only one gender, it wasn’t a sexual type hug. It was an, I love and understand you completely hug. You will never know this hug until you join us. I invite you!!
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