GRIEF AND THE OLDER MEMBER
April 23, from “Strengthening My Recovery” daily reader
”Many older members will speak of finding their grief by working the Twelve Steps or by sitting alone quietly and feeling the feelings that arise.” BRB p. 200
“Older members with years of experience attending meetings, sharing, fellow traveling, and giving service from a space of love may have reached a point where they’re able to just sit quietly and allow feelings to arise. Their daily practice over time has afforded them this wonderful gift.
Because for many long-time members the use of the program’s tools has become second nature to them; as their feelings arise they allow them to flow out, like hot air naturally rises into the infinite sky. The continuous daily work of taking the Steps draws their grief work out from the depths of their psyche in a gradual and gentle way.
They are worth listening to as they recount their experience, strength, and hope. But they will also be the first to admit that they don’t know all the answers; that they learn each day from newer members who can be wise beyond their time in the program. That is the nature of this fellowship. Grief work is part of the healing process that spans all ages and periods of longevity in the program.
On this day I will work a daily program of recovery. As I am ready, I will receive all the gifts of my grief work arising to meet me.”
My Experience:
What this used to represent for me was a bunch of noise in my head, a myriad of thoughts keeping the chaos alive. Now I know that I am beginning to experience the gift of allowing myself to slow down to allow these thoughts to come out in ways I had never expected. Yes, they often bring grief, but they also bring knowledge. Knowledge of what has happened to me, knowledge of how I would like to be treated, knowledge to name the harm, knowledge to move away from the harm, and knowledge of feeling. I know that I am alive when I am able to feel what is being brought out and though it is very painful at times, ultimately it releases me from the past and allows me to enjoy the here and now. What a wonderful gift I have found grief to be!!
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