FEAR

May 26, from “Strengthening My Recovery” daily reader

“ACA is for people who can make the connection between childhood neglect and an adult life of fear and loneliness.” BRB p.33

“Living in fear can be addictive. Healthier people can feel fear about things occasionally, but they deal with it constructively. But many of us can be driven by fear in everything we do. We grew up in uncertain conditions that caused feelings of intense fear while we waited for the next blow up, for the next piling on of emotional pressure and stress, or even for the next silent treatment that left us wondering if we even mattered. Our childhood fear was real. So how could we not become fear-based adults? We were left with a sense of loneliness, of feeling that we might never escape.

But ACA came to our rescue! It may sound simplistic, but this is where we are rescued – not by someone else, but by our own willingness to seek change. We learn that we can release the grip that fear has on our lives. We leave the sense of loneliness and isolation behind. We know we have choices; we’re no longer a captive audience.

We examine our reality and understand that most things we fear can’t hurt us unless we let them. Our fixation on these things is what does the real damage. As we experience recovery, we learn to replace fear with love and compassion for ourselves.

On this day I will ask other ACAs and my Higher Power to help place my fears in their proper light. I have compassion for myself as I do this work.”

My Experience:

I had many fears.  Fear of rejection, fear of failure, etc., just to name a couple.  Most of this resulted in me becoming isolated so as to not have to face, what I felt like were ultimate realities.  In truth, people get rejected and I am not unique.  There is truth in rejection.  Perhaps this was not the right opportunity or person for me.  That leaves me available for the right opportunity or person.  People fail, and I am not unique here either.  Failure lets one know that way that was tried will not get the desired results and now allows you to move in another direction to try to be successful.  I have found that when I isolated myself from these or any other fears, that is where the damage was done because I did not take the next step to move away from these fears. We must be willing to face these fears head on, feel the feelings that are invoked and work through it so as to alleviate the fear.  Always remember, “if it is in the way, then it is the way.”

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