FAMILY RELATIONSHIPS

May 10, from “Strengthening My Recovery” daily reader

“At an appropriate time, we re-view the relationship we want to have with our families. We will choose to avoid some family members because they are draining or abusive.” BRB p. 123

Even though we lived through the same experiences as others in our families, we may have reacted differently and developed different scars and ways of coping that often divided us much more than it united us.

When we begin our recovery in ACA, this divide makes it more difficult to be around the circus that is our extended family. With practice, resolve and support from other ACAs, we give ourselves permission to avoid situations that can drain us of all energy and even cause us to revert to our own dysfunctional behaviors.

lf we think some family members are too toxic and abusive, we can disconnect. We don’t have to participate because we know how emotionally draining they are. We have a choice. We don’t have to go down with a sinking ship.

This separation doesn’t have to be forever. Many of us eventually get to the point of reintroducing our True Selves to the family, and we let them make the choice to interact with us on our terms, or not.

On this day I give myself permission to separate from my family’s dysfunction. This gives me the opportunity to become who I am meant to be, not who I am expected to be

My Experience:

How powerful this is.  I am currently on the path of separation and becoming who I am meant to be and no longer who I am expected to be.  I then will get to choose when and who I decide to let  back in my life.  Some people are just too toxic while others I will have to minimize my contact so as not to take on their toxicity and expectations.  This is a huge relief to know that I no longer have to play by others rules; I get to define the rules of engagement. 

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