EMOTIONAL PAIN

 April 10, from “Strengthening My Recovery” daily reader

“Our experience reveals that there is value in emotional pain. With support, and with gentleness, we can find our healthy pain and its healing release, just as we reclaimed our tears.” BRB p.212

“Recovery brought us many new realizations. We came to understand that to protect ourselves during childhood, we had to shut down. This didn’t happen for just one event or one day; we had to put a clamp on ourselves for years.

Our reactions to pain were normal under the circumstances.  Just as our bodies protected us by recoiling from a hot stove, they protected us another way.  When we received  the maximum limit of emotional pain tolerable, our bodies distanced us from that pain: healthy recoil. We were most likely unaware of this shutdown. Over the years, so many moments, hours, and days were lost, and eventually, we lost ourselves. We may have even wondered, “How does a normal person feel stuff?”

In recovery, as we begin to uncover the pain, we sometimes feel overcome with an indistinguishable number of emotions. We might think something is wrong or something bad is happening.  But we are told by those we trust in ACA that getting in touch with our healthy pain is a good thing.

Thank goodness we have our meetings. We sit together like children who have all escaped a fire. There is comfort in going through this together. We recover our pain by talking about it to others:  a great way to heal.

On this day I embrace my healthy pain, remembering that I have a lot to release and process. I feel myself gradually becoming healed.”

.

My Experience:

A reclaiming of my tears!!

SOUL CLEANSER

The eyes are said to be the gateway to the soul

Because you voyage deeply to mine those stories untold

Glance into my openings and you may notice them not dry

Because my eyes seem to have a trickle all the time

What you may not comprehend as you see me

I am healing and this is a way for my sorrow to be released

For every spanking, harsh word, or unrecognized feat

Added a brick to that wall of misery inside me

But as I tear at the barrier and attempt to unhide

I concede that the stress continues to reside

I now understand that this unhappiness needs a route

As the tears fall one by one without nary a prompt

The resident sadness needed to be recognized and named

Sometimes leaky, sometimes gushy, but tears all the same

Temper your concern as I am recovering well

The full cleansing of my soul, only time will tell

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