EMOTIONAL INTOXICATION

July 20, from “Strengthening My Recovery” daily reader

“In his ‘Next Frontier’ article Bill {W.} wrote, ‘If we examine every disturbance we have, great or small, we will find at the root of it some unhealthy dependency and its consequent unhealthy demand.’” BRB p. 628

Growing up in dysfunctional homes meant that chaos was normal. As a result, we may have become adults who could not feel at ease when things were calm. We may have craved drama and excitement on such a subconscious level that we were drawn to it without realizing the reason why.

In recovery, we gain the clarity to see that out of our craving for intensity, we were finding a form of comfort by continually recreating our childhood atmosphere. But even though this chaos felt familiar, recovery teaches us that our vulnerable and wounded child’s needs were not being met.

By attending meetings and listening to the stories of other adult children, we learn that we are not alone.  When we work the program, we cultivate two essential qualities in our lives: courage and self-esteem through the Twelve Steps.  We learn to let go and turn our will and our lives over to a Higher Power of our own understanding. When we do this, we find that gradually the desire for emotional intoxication will leave us.

On this day I free myself from the cycle of emotional intoxication by listening to my Higher Power’s guidance. I deserve balance, which I get by practicing my program in all areas of my life.”

My Experience:

I love the calmness, serenity and balance that comes with breaking away from the emotional intoxication.  I am better able to sit outside the chaos and observe and provide my guidance and wisdom when it is asked for but to stay out of the fray of it all.  My Higher Power has provided me with a “tell” when chaos is afoot.  Where I used to find comfort in getting involved I now find angst and that wall of angst helps me stay at arm’s length away from the chaos.  Thank you Higher Power. 

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