DEVELOPMENTAL TRAUMA

How many times have you heard, “that happened so long ago, just get over it.”  What that person does not know is, childhood trauma is not something that you just get over.  Trauma in and of itself, and especially childhood trauma, must be confronted and dealt with.  This does not mean that you must confront your tormentor, although you could, but at the very least you need to acknowledge the torment, identify the feelings, and work through them to determine how to proceed.  Only then can one hope to be on a path of a healing journey.  Van Der Kolk, says that a person kept on high alert keeps pumping out stress hormones to deal with their threats, whether real or imagined.  This constant release of stress hormones leads to physical problems: sleep disturbances, headaches, unexplained pain, oversensitivity to touch or sound. To relieve the associated tension, these folks often engage in chronic masturbation, rocking, or self-harming activities.  These folks oftentimes display self-loathing tendencies or a sense of defectiveness or worthlessness.  Because of this they walk through life unable to trust anyone.  The conundrum exists in that the longer the trauma goes on, over time the body adjusts to the chronic trauma.  They get numb to the trauma; meaning it gets used to being treated a certain way, or being in certain situations.  That is why it is easy for a childhood trauma victim to choose friends or even a mate that resembles their childhood tormentor.   Only when they recognize the trauma and the destruction it has caused will the traumatized child be able to work on ways to heal from their childhood and move away from those folks who resemble their childhood tormentor.

I for one relate to this topic in that I felt an oversensitivity to touch, so much that I actually felt physical pain because of it. It was only when I realized that it was because I had conditioned myself to not want or need it that I understood where those feelings came from. I still get triggered at times and work through the feelings of inadequacy in order to feel the pleasure of physical touch. Where are you on your road to healing?