DEFECTS OF CHARACTER

June 23, from “Strengthening My Recovery” daily reader

“You are not a defective character. You have defects of character.” BRB p.188

“Many of us have difficulty hearing the word “defect” and applying it to ourselves because of the way we were raised. First, if we ever said we had a problem, that was usually how we got in trouble. We were criticized for who we were, so the last thing we wanted to do was point out that there was something wrong. Second, most of our “faults” or “defects” became a part of us as adults because a parent demanded we act a certain way.  We were not to blame for acquiring these habits, but they really get in our way today.

In ACA, it is important that we acknowledge what is happening in our present lives – the habits we have that perpetuate the family dysfunction. We get honest about their impact to ourselves and others in order to recover from them.

We realize that a defect is something that stops our positive momentum, and we all have them. But that doesn’t mean we are defective. Our habits will change as we recover. But first we must see them, admit them, and work them out using the Steps and all the tools now available to us.

On this day I will gratefully and joyously remember that my defects are losing their hold on me as my recovery grows.”

My Experience:

Identifying my defects of character in step six was very eye opening.  Asking for their removal in step seven was a very moving experience.  To know that I am not defective but rather have some defects of character is soul touching.  It changed the focus of me thinking I was a bad person, someone who had no redeeming qualities, to knowing that I had these habits that I formed over the years that are bad and I can work to change them.  These can be changed in thought and action and I consciously work on these every day to move away from those habits that I have deemed as unacceptable.  You can too, and I have to tell you, it is well work the effort. 

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