CRITICAL INNER VOICE
April 16, from “Strengthening My Recovery” daily reader
“We can secretly tell ourselves that we cannot recover, or we cannot experience the benefits of the Steps. This is the subtle but critical inner voice, attempting to disqualify us from recovery.” BRB p.49
“We have all heard it said that humans, by nature, are creatures of habit. It doesn’t seem to matter whether those habits are good for us or do us harm; they give us a certain level of comfort.
Recovery brings change that is often looked at suspiciously by those around us who are used to our dysfunction -it’s a known quantity. Some of these people may feel threatened by our change and try to interfere with it. This is not uncommon and others in the program make us aware of this possibility.
But we also become aware of our critical inner parent that can try to sabotage our recovery with phrases like, “Maybe this is the wrong thing to do.” “Will I even know who I am if I change?” “Maybe I’m too old to be doing this.” When this voice surfaces, it’s time to reach out to our ACA fellow travelers for help and support.
On this day I will be aware of how my critical inner parent can try to plant doubts. To stay grounded, I reaffirm for myself that I am now on the right path.”
My Experience:
Those that don’t understand and choose to remain in their dysfunction are very critical of change, especially since I no longer choose to go along with their program. They have even referred to it as a cult. In my old way of thinking I would have responded, “that has got to be about the dumbest thing I have ever heard.” Today, I feel sorry for those people that choose to stay stuck in the dysfunction.
My critical Inner Parent surfaces from time to time and says things like “who will I be if I change.” I understand now that is fear of the unknown. I have grown so accustomed to what I refer to as “the blanket of dysfunction,” that even though this “blanket of dysfunction” is not the best thing for me and keeps me in a bad space it has been wrapped around me for so long that it’s warmth and comfort makes me feel somewhat safe. I feel like if I take off this blanket I will be exposed, not knowing who I am or what next step to take. But, I am beginning to understand that if I just take a step out in the cold and make my way over to the thermometer and turn the heat on (working the steps), I will soon be comfortable all over and not just comfortable under the “blanket of dysfunction.” Mind Blown!!!
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