CONNECTION
April 24, from “Strengthening My Recovery” daily reader
“This connectedness in relationships is characterized by expressed feelings, trust, mutual respect, and an acknowledgment that a Higher Power is real.” BRB p. 265
“One of the worst things we may have felt as kids was a sense of aloneness, feeling connected to nothing and no one. We then became adults who were aching inside to find a connection to something. Often we found this with people who weren’t good for us, or we found a temporary sense of connection through food, drugs, sex, alcohol, serial relationships, our children, our spouses, and others who maybe seemed to “have it together.” Most things we tried felt good for awhile, but soon we felt lost and empty again.
In ACA we realize that this lack of connection is not our fault, and we aren’t unique. To survive our childhoods, we had to disconnect to protect our hearts. But the longer we’re in this place now, the more horrible is the pain we experience.
We find recovery from this pain by working the Steps and uncovering our real identities. We learn that the answers are inside us, and that connecting with a Higher Power helps us find those answers. We begin relating to our True Selves as we learn to express our feelings. This helps us finally start to feel connected to others in a healthy way.
On this day I will remember that I am a real person who is capable of having true connections with others. I do this by believing in myself and my Higher Power.”
My Experience:
How lonely life can be without connectedness. I know, I have been disconnected for years. I didn’t even really know what connection inside of a relationship was as I have been disconnected inside relationships for years. I now understand that it had absolutely nothing to do with them, but everything to do with me and my upbringing. Yes I have connected in certain ways but not in the long term ways that produce long term sustained happiness. I am now on a journey to find long term connection. But I know that it starts with me, not someone or something outside of me. I work on myself everyday. I am uncovering the real me, sharing the real me, daring to be the real me in all situations. It is tough, because it ruffles a lot of feathers, it produces separation as I detach with love from those people, situations, or things that continue to treat me in unhealthy ways. But I also have the faith that in the long run it will allow me to live an authentic life and grow sustained happiness.
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