COMMONALITY

Jan 2, from “Strengthening My Recovery” daily reader

“The first time I read the common behaviors of an adult child, I felt like a bell that had been fetched up and rung hard. I was calm on the outside, but I was vibrating on the inside.  “BRB p.  118

When we first heard “our” story told, it seemed like we floated around the room for the rest of the meeting.  What just happened?  Did we really hear that?  How does this person know about us?  We felt frightened, but we weren’t sure why.

We may have even gone home and taken a nap, or walked through the rest of our day in a daze.  When we woke up the next day, we may have felt hung over.

What we find is that we identify with the ACA Problem and the Laundry List Traits and with other adult children.  We have learned many tools to deal with those defenses as we grow in the program with our sponsors and with our Step work.  We lean on the people who came before us to show us the way to serenity and wholeness until we possess those qualities with stability in ourselves.  We know we are not alone.

On this day I will call my sponsor.  If I don’t have a fellow traveler yet, I will call someone with more experience in the program than me and ask them if they’re willing to walk with me through the Steps.

My experience:

I was in a haze for quite some time.  I could not believe what I had heard at that very first meeting.  It was like someone was following me.  I wept, and I wept often.  I wept as I drifted off to sleep, I wept when I found myself alone. I could not believe there were people out there similar to me.  Similar issues, similar lives, maybe even similar paths of how we got here today.  These were my people.  These were my kindred spirits.  These were the people that knew what I was going through and could offer experiential advice and guidance about what was working for them.  “Keep coming back” was told to me from my very first meeting.  I am so glad I did!!