CHANGING INSIDE
Oct 17, from “Strengthening My Recovery” daily reader
“As we greet co-workers or friends, we feel that we are changing inside. We begin to recognize a power inside we had not known before.” BRB p. 273
“Regularly taking a quiet time helps us to grow up emotionally and spiritually. How we take it depends on our choices. At first, we spend time by ourselves when we need to, letting others do what they will to take care of themselves. If they spend it getting drunk and high, we let them, but we no longer seek that outlet for our pain and suffering, if that was how we previously coped.
Later, we see that we actually enjoy spending time alone. We don’t fill ourselves up with others just to pass the time and keep us numb. We no longer pretend to be excited when we’re not. We seek those we can truly connect with and enjoy. We talk not just about superficial things, but about who we are and what’s important to us. People respect us more at work and elsewhere because we don’t seek constant approval as we did in our families. We no longer do things we’re uncomfortable with just for the sake of fitting in. As we become more genuine, we allow others to find their own paths; instead of labeling them, we now make room for our differences. If some don’t like the new us, we have to let them go. We adjust our list of whom we can trust.
On this day I will own my power to be genuine and feel how comfortable it is to focus on being myself.”
My experience:
I have spent a lot of alone time but in order to create it, I was mean to people so they would stay away and allow me the time I needed. The funny thing is I would spend a lot of that alone time, thinking about how I was mean and that they now think I am an even bigger asshole than before. So I would cut my time short in order to do what they wanted and/or needed and get even more resentful than before. Well now I am enjoying my alone time. I am not being mean to people to create it and thusly I don’t have to spend that time thinking how bad I feel for acting so rudely. I now am able to enjoy that time whether it is on the beach, at a park, or even at a coffee shop, writing. I create these bastions of serenity and bask in all the glory and joy that it brings to me to be able to sit and just think or create. My world is a changing and I love it!!
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