CHANGE

March 13, from “Strengthening My Recovery” daily reader

“We become open minded to the idea that we can change with time and with help.” BRB p .9

Most of us have heard the saying, “If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always gotten.”  In other words, nothing will change until we make a change.

We may have read all the books and made attempts at change, but nothing stuck for long. A big reason it didn’t work is that we were probably trying to do it alone. We told ourselves that we didn’t need to talk to others about anything; we just had to try harder. And when we hit a wall with whatever new thing we were trying, we found some justification for quitting.

So nothing really changed until we gave ourselves permission to walk into our first ACA meeting.  That is where we discovered the power of the group – a mix of new faces with familiar stories. We listened to some say how difficult it was to work on change, and that change takes time. This might have made us run the other way, except that it was followed by talk of how rewarding it is to make even baby steps of change. Because we want that same experience, we keep coming back. Not doing it alone makes all the difference in the world.

On this day I will remember that I deserve my own change and that I never have to go it alone again.”

My Experience:

It was very difficult for me to walk into the rooms of recovery.  I didn’t need anyone, let alone a group of strangers to tell me what to do.  What I found, very quickly, was that I was in a room full of “my people.”  They knew my pain and my struggle.  I felt safe, I felt comfortable, I felt loved.  But there was a solidifying moment for me.  Weeks into the program, a program veteran showed up who had not been to the meeting for various reasons since I had come into the room.  In their share they said the most profound thing that shook me to my core.  They said, “today I live a life beyond my wildest dreams.”  I remember looking at them and saying to myself, “I want that.”  Those words changed me forever and since then my life has never been the same.

Unhide

Heard one day in a meeting and it was said with such a beam

Today I live a life beyond my wildest dreams

There is fear and exhilaration in that statement you see

I wonder would it would take to be blessed by me

Thinking about it brought serious panic to my belt

Courage is the thing that would make it all melt

But where does one start as I am unsure about that

The serenity prayer due to suffering from its lack

Because some become gladiator’s and falsely emit

Others take it on the chin wherever they sit

Still others are very easily led astray

While the rest just exist every single day

Something extraordinary I think is wanted by all

They just don’t know how and worry about the walks fall

To keep upright though, takes faith and desire

Sometimes the walk includes coals of fire

So I say, unhide from your failures of the past

Unhide from previous loves that didn’t last

Unhide from the opinions that others might think

Unhide from those stares that in the past would sink

Unhide from all the materialistic things

Unhide and show that your heart does sing

Unhide and take a step back to reassess

Unhide and determine that your needs will be addressed

For your particular journey these are needed by all

To ensure stability as you step outside the box and not fall

Remember as you enter the abyss and attempt to exit the other side

It’s imperative that you have the courage and faith to unhide.

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