BLAME

Jan 29, from “Strengthening My Recovery” daily reader

“We cannot reach the level of spiritual growth that we are seeking by blaming sick people.” BRB p. 158

“The hard truth about alcoholism and family dysfunction is that there is no one to blame. It may feel as if our parents caused our suffering, but we forget that dysfunction is inherited. They were simply working with what they were given. They may not have willingly set out to harm us; they were reacting to their own sickness and in turn passed down the disease of dysfunction.

As children, we experienced unfair treatment and wished our parents would get help. However, we had no control over their actions.

But today we have control over whether we hang on to blaming people who could not help themselves at the time. When we let go of accusing sick people, we can focus on ourselves and what can be done in the here and now to help ourselves heal. We loosen the ties that keep us bound to circumstances that couldn’t have turned out differently, thereby creating the possibility of limitless growth within us.

On this day I will do all that I am capable of to help stop the generational dysfunction in my family. In doing so, I will let go of any blame that is keeping me from experiencing greater levels of recovery.”

 My Experience:

One of the greatest things about my experience is being able to let go of the blame.  Once I was able to identify the issues of the past, I recognized that my earth parents were only capable of doing what they did.  I am not saying it is easy and every time I peel more of the onion and uncover another layer of things that are wrong with me it is still easy for me to place blame on them.  However, because of the tools of this program I can quickly forgive them by acknowledging they did the best they could, while also forgiving myself because I too did the best I could given the circumstances of my upbringing.  I no longer blame them or me, but I am still recovering from my past.  I still acknowledge my wrongs.  I am healing daily and you can too.