BALANCE
July 19, from “Strengthening My Recovery” daily reader
“We balance our experiences as children with the knowledge that we have a unique chance through ACA to break the cycle of family dysfunction.” BRB p. 95
“Many of our family members seemed to live one reactive moment to the next. There was little, if any, thought given to planning ahead for possibilities or how best to approach situations. Some of us tried to change this pattern as adults, perhaps as we raised our own families. Maybe we became rigid when planning, to overcompensate for the chaos we had experienced, or we may have found ourselves frequently feeling overwhelmed. We did not seem to have the capacity to look at the big picture and act accordingly, and we consistently berated ourselves for this shortcoming.
When we find a new way to live in recovery, we work to erase old tapes and old ways of doing things. But ingrained habits do not disappear overnight. When we feel ourselves at either end of the reaction spectrum – too rigid or feeling overwhelmed -we open our new tool bag and find a way to center ourselves, whether it’s through a phone call or using another tool of recovery. By doing so, we reinforce our resolve to live intentional lives. We find purpose and hope because of the balance we are able to integrate. This leads to the peace and serenity we have always deserved.
On this day I will pause and think about how I want to live my day. I affirm that I deserve to live the balanced life that I choose, not a life that simply happens to me.”
My Experience:
Since I had to make decisions at an early age with little to no guidance, there was no one there to tell me I was wrong. So it is easy to see that I developed a thought process that I was always right. However I saw a problem, if I developed an opinion about it, it was my way and no other ideas could exist. That has been my go to for years. I now know that this is completely wrong. My way is not the only way and sometimes my way is completely wrong. The best thing I have found, being wrong is ok. The heavens are not going to open and smite me, I am not going to be sucked into the burning gates of hell or some other calamity might befall me. I now walk through my life not perfect and open to ideas of others. In fact I welcome ideas of others and seek out advice. I am now living a more balanced life and could not be happier!
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