AUTHORITY FIGURES
Feb 9 from “Strengthening My Recovery” daily reader
“Authority figures scare us and we feel afraid when we need to talk to them.” BRB p. 417
“As children we may have been terrified to voice a thought about anything to the authority figures in our lives. We learned to keep quiet because we usually didn’t know what reaction we might get.
As adults, we may still have found ourselves reacting to authority in the same manner, whether it was in a work environment or even a social group or organization that resembled a workplace structure or purpose. We may have tried to avoid authority figures, but they’re everywhere. Being self-employed didn’t insulate us from these interactions, either.
Even in ACA, some of us place others in roles of authority where we find ourselves recreating our family structure. But recovery is where we can become aware of our reactions and practice new ways of acting. Before we talk to an authority figure, we can stop and perform a reality check. Are we imagining the worst? ls this person going to respond like my dysfunctional parent did years ago?
If we are fearful, a very successful technique many of us use is to write a script and role-play with a trusted friend. As part of this process, we give ourselves plenty of affirmations. Growth happens when we find that the more we actually do talk to authority figures, the more our confidence increases. At last we begin to see ourselves as recovering adults, not fearful children.
On this day I will use my recovery wisdom and strength as I interact with authority figures. I am no longer frozen by fear.”
My experience:
Another mask I have been wearing for years is the mask of being unafraid. But I realize that inside, when I had to talk to a person of authority, it was gut-wrenching to say the least. I kept those interactions minimal at best and that is why I handled things at my level. I didn’t want to have discussions with a person of authority as it scared me to no end. That is where the perfectionism comes into play. If I was painstakingly perfect, then there would be no need to have discussions with the authority figures and feel any disappointment, etc. from them. I see this now and am working on this. I can now say that I am not perfect, I reach out for help, and sometimes I don’t get it right. This has been a huge weight off my shoulders. Thank you ACA.