ASKING FOR HELP
July 2, from “Strengthening My Recovery” daily reader
“At this juncture, the adult child usually isolates or becomes involved in busy work to avoid asking for help.” BRB p. 66
“We took care of everyone else for years, learning to be as invisible as possible, both physically and emotionally. Our worth was not based on who we were, but on what we could accomplish or do for others. We became so used to the struggle, that we created it when it wasn’t already there. Living in a hurricane of activity was normal for us. We started to avoid quiet because that’s when we heard the painful voices, those that cried from deep within and said, “You are not good enough.”
As we learn to live in a different reality, we begin to recognize our self-worth. We see that our very existence is a gift from our Higher Power. We learn to reach out to our fellow travelers for help and feel love and acceptance. We allow others to take care of themselves, and we choose those who can do so to be our companions.
We become willing to own all of our feelings, not just the happiness or joy we are feeling, but also the anger and even rage when they come up. We recognize them as gifts that can lift us out of sandpits of grief and shame. We are careful not to harm others with these “gifts,” but instead use them as a gateway for healing our woundedness.
On this day I will no longer do other people’s work. I will feel the freedom of being responsible for myself, recognizing when I need guidance.”
My Experience:
Interestingly, I am using my “gifts” to heal me. I am recently tackling a lot of shame and embarrassment over my past behavior. Unlike times of past, I am not allowing one emotion, anger, to take over. I am allowing myself to feel the shame and embarrassment, using my tools that I have learned to process these feelings and even asking others for help in the process and feedback on my process. This is the way that I will grow in my emotions and not continue to act as an emotional child. Although not easy, I am blessed to be able to feel these emotions.
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